Captain America The Winter Soldier Trailer

OMG I've been anticipating this forever! It looks incredible!!!! Winter Soldier is spot on in my eyes. Love how they costumed him and his fight scenes look amazing! And of course, I can't forget the easy-on-the-eyes Chris Evans, back as Captain America/Steve Rogers. HIs new costume looks fantastic! Squee! I plan on watching this trailer a thousand times today! haha

My Battle Scars

So yesterday was anti-bullying day. I didn't necessarily participate in wearing purple and such. But it did make me think about my days of being bullied. Not that one can actually escape the past bullying years, because if you've been bullied, it never leaves you. You will always be scarred. This is my story.

I was a happy kid, shy and reserved, but a happy kid nonetheless in my hometown in north Jersey. My father got transferred to another job location in central Jersey. Moving was scary. And I was in the fourth grade at the time, going into fifth. My brother graduated elementary school and that was better for him so he could start anew at middle school. My parents didn't factor in that I was moving in the middle of elementary school, though, and through no fault of theirs perse.

But in doing so, I left all the friends I had since kindergarten and had to start fresh. I was not wholly welcomed in my new environment. Sure, I made friends with the kids down the block who, like our family, moved into a new development in this town. We were all newbies. Unfortunately, they were all younger than me, by several years. So I wouldn't see them in my classes at the new school.

So when many of us newbies got to the new school year, some were taken in, some weren't. I was one of the kids who had no real friends. I was ridiculed for being Chinese and what I looked like. I was teased constantly that I was the smarty-pants, especially because I was Asian. Stereotypes were already made for me at an age I didn't even know what that was or it existed nor did I know about racism! My old school, I had friends that were black, white, christian, catholic, Jewish, Indian, etc. We all mixed and didn't care about color. So, I was thrown into a hostile environment without even knowing there was one to be thrown into!

I managed to make it through elementary school fairly untouched though. But the damage was starting. Middle school and high school, though, were where things got worse. I was not physically bullied, thankfully, but the emotional turmoil, was hell for me.

Other girls mostly, would tease me about my looks (I was not a fashionable young lady) and they'd tease me about the things I liked (New Kids on the Block anyone?) And just general teasing. I was still stereotyped with other kids thinking I should be good at math because I was Chinese or that I should excel in school because of that. I had racist slurs thrown at me as time went on. I had people tease me with racist gestures as well. I never saw myself as Chinese because when I look in the mirror, it's just me. I'm an American just like you. I was born here, my parents were born here. So, I'm an American just like anyone else. But the kids saw it differently.

I had my purse slyly slide across the chemistry lab without me knowing and the kids giggled at me when I realized it was no longer on the back of my chair. I had kids try to knock books out of my arms. I had them call me names. They called me racist slurs and general attacks like how ugly I was or things like that.

The worst, in some ways, was when the boys would tease me saying I was pretty but then snicker behind my back. I've still never gotten over my image complex that they started. I don't trust people, mostly boys/men, who tell me I'm pretty or beautiful. I can't always take a compliment even if I know that person is being honest with me. It embarrasses me because somewhere deep inside, I feel like they are still mocking me instead. If you call me cute, I'm ok with it, because well, I'm such a tiny, cute person, I'm used to that. But if you call me beautiful or other such lovely comments, I don't always tend to believe you. This is what these bullies left behind.

For years, I lacked confidence in myself and the things I did or said. I was smart in my own ways, getting good grades and such but I was never really smart like my brother might be. So I was teased that I was dumb if I asked one "dumb" question.

Only during my first couple years of college did I finally start to come out of my shell. Asking strangers I met in class about a random something, even if it was just about weather or what town they were from. Just to get out there and start fresh. These people didn't have a preconceived notion of who I was like those bullies in high school did. And through time and patience and some very good friends who honestly liked me for me, I became self-confident.

I'm still not totally there yet. I still have anxiety over meeting new people because I am always going to think they are judging me and will dislike everything about me or be fake to my face. But I try to let the confident-me prevail instead and give everyone a fair shake at meeting me.

I've learned the value of living one's life as well. I let bullying hold me back from so many things as a kid for fear of being an outcast even further than I already was and a fear of being judged without merit.  I am learning to live with no regrets because bullying and constant teasing held me back for so long. Now, I go after the things I want and learned there is no shame in trying new things or meeting new people.

Being bullied also taught me the value of being kind to everyone. I may not like you on your own merit once I get to know you, but I do my best to not make snap judgements or of course, to be racist or stereotypical to you either. It taught me to be better person so I do not inflict those scars or pain on anyone else in this world. There's too much damage on this earth that humans inflict on one another, that this is one thing we can control and take matters into our hands. Don't let bullying survive.

NYCC Cosplayers 2013

I saw a ton of amazing cosplayers this year at NYCC. I didn't get to stop and take pics of all of them though. I hate tying up foot traffic to do so. So if they were already taking pics or I was waiting in line in the bigger, wider areas, then I felt I could ask them. There were so many more awesome costumes but I just couldn't stop to take them all! 

Rose, Doctor Who, New, New New New New York episode - she made the shirt herself!

Tron! Her shoes, earrings (can't see), dress are all custom-made!

A small child was inside this costume.

I don't know what this is from, but yes, a person is on all fours in this costume.

Arthur Dent, don't forget your towel! Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

Friend in our booth as a Ghostbuster!

Vulcan

Love this. River Song and Cyber Doctor

Two Doctor Horribles

Jim Butcher's character Harry Dresden

Captain Marvel! as human and dog form! too cute!

Xena and Autolycus

Sif, Dan Slott and Thor

9th Doctor

OK, not cosplay perse, but it's Lola!

me and Lola!

New York Comic Con 2013

New York Comic Con. The east coast version of SDCC. It's not as big but it's enough for me. I love it. This year I went all four days! I was so excited!

I wanted to walk the floor on Thursday since that is supposed to be the calmer of all the days, being a Thursday and being a shorter day from 3pm-9pm. But it was packed that day. I had friends to meet up with and a show floor to wander and it all collided. I was exhausted from the prep week I had leading up to the con, too. So things were crazy for me. It all came to a head about 6pm where I basically lost it emotionally. I was kind of done. I had done nothing though!! Sigh. I took a break and never really recovered enough to do more than see my friends and hit up only a few booths that night. 

With Thursday being a wash, I tried to get things done Friday but again, it was crazy, though I was better prepared. And I had a lot to do on my schedule. I needed to go to artist alley to pick up my commission from the great artist Thom Zahler who writes and draws the comic Love and Capes. One of my favorite comic series. I asked him to do a commission for me of C3P0 in Mickey ears. He delivered! It looks fantastic! And he even has a hidden Mickey in the back with planets as the hidden Mickey! Awesome! :)

Thom Zahler's Mickey-eared C3P0 and the color print. Color print has Anthony Daniel's autograph.

I walked around artist alley a little bit and got to see Katie Cook and Andy Price again (and Andy's lovely wife, Alice). Always love seeing all of them. I got a few things from Katie's table as usual, some mini paintings and a couple of her books and prints. 

I went to the autograph area so I could get Anthony Daniel's autograph and Felicia Day's autograph. I took Thom Zahler's C3P0 print to get signed by Anthony Daniel. He loved the idea and the unique artwork to get signed. He was lovely. He even walked the aisle a little to talk to people. It was nice. 

Thom Zahler's artwork, signed by Anthony Daniels.

For Felicia Day, I had Wil and Anne Wheaton's ASPCA calendar for her to sign. She loved that. She had only signed one other that day. It was lovely to meet her. She's awesome. I told her that I love what she does with the geek world and for women geek. She said she tries not to do things that are only women-centric in the geek world because well, we should all just be equals! And I agreed.

Felicia Day, me

Friday night I went to a special ticketed event through WhoYork to have a Q&A and signing with Doctor Who stars Colin Baker (6th Doctor) and Nicholas Briggs (voice of the Daleks, among other creatures in the Who universe). We also got a surprise visit from Jason Haigh-Ellery from Big Finish (the radio recordings for Doctor Who among other franchises). 

Colin Baker's stories he told were the best. His time on set, things that went wrong, things that went right. It was fantastic. He told us how when he first met new castmate Nicola Bryant, he "eventually looked into her eyes." Ha! And then told us when he shot his first scene with Nicola, how he was ducking behind her for the scene. Well Nicola's bum was in his face at eye level basically. He ended up biting her bum. HAHA She was shocked but took it in stride he said. Briggs had some funny stories, too, but none could top Baker's. 

Took pics with them all and they signed autographs and such at the end of the Q&A. It was a fab Friday night!

(L-R) Nicholas Briggs, Colin Baker, Jason Haigh-Ellery

Colin Baker and me! He's a sweetheart!

Jason Haigh-Ellery, me and Nicholas Briggs

Saturday, I went to comic writer Dan Slott's signing at the Marvel booth first. He's a friend and awesome guy. I just read Spider-Island and even tho I'm a few years behind on that, I really did enjoy it! It made me care about Spider-Man and Peter Parker. I was never a Spidey gal before. So it was definitely welcomed to read this and enjoy it. He happily signed my book and I got Humberto Ramos to sign it in artist alley the day before and then Joe Quesada signed it as well. Awesome!

Joe Quesada and me

Dan Slott signing at Limited Edition Comix booth

Then I then got to do the photo shoot with John Barrowman and Gareth David-Lloyd from Torchwood. Love!!! I asked them for the "Wheaton special" which is where you jump into one of their arms and then your friend or significant other stands to the side all pouty that you chose the celeb instead of the S.O. It's funny!! (It was a thing on twitter with Wil Wheaton and his wife first with Nathan Fillion and then with Barrowman they reversed the roles, since Barrowman is gay. It's brilliant. So now all of us geeks are following suit and call it the "Wheaton special".)

My story with Barrowman.... I was told to jump in his arms, as he held my back. I did not jump high enough. So I had to do it again. Pic taken, shuffled out quickly. On the other side of the photo tent, Barrowman peaked his head out of the tent saying something I couldn't hear other than "Sorry".... The person behind us came out after her photo shoot saying, "You have a story now!" um excuse me? what happened?? She told us that him peaking out of the tent he said something along the lines of "No more jumping up because he pulled his back on the last one....sorry!" um oops. I broke Jack!!? crap! So knowing I would get his autograph Sunday, I knew I had to apologize... to which he said he was fine and he's just used to dancers who really JUMP! and forgets that "normal" people can't or don't do that. But he really was fine and no worries... I told him I should have realized that especially being an old gymnast... He responded with "Yeah you shoulda high-kicked the hell outta that jump!!" ah well. 

So that was the story of how I almost broke Jack. Ha!

Gareth David-Lloyd, @JediN8, me, John Barrowman

me and poor John Barrowman in pain or annoyed.

Went with a friend to the Cup O' Joe Panel. It ended up being a mixed bag of what's happening at Marvel. Some of which was discussed at other panels. But it was a relaxed atmosphere to have an open discussion of big stuff for Marvel.

Then I headed to another signing and rest of the day is a blur but I know I walked around more. Ha! And I know I didn't make it to the Shield panel like I wanted to. But oh well. Too much to do and see!

Eventually I hit up the John Barrowman Q&A that evening. One of the best panels ever!! Barrowman delivers. He's exactly what you think he is. So funny, so animated up on stage and just ready for anything! More on that in another post. I videotaped the whole thing but since it's 45 minutes long, I'm trying to figure out how to post it someplace...

John Barrowman during his Q&A

Sunday was just as crazy. But for different reasons.

Sunday, a friend and I went to get autographs for John Barrowman and Gareth David-Lloyd on the photo we took together. David-Lloyd's line had no one. Poor Gareth... Barrowman's line though, was a different story! Signings started at noon for the two of them. Lines were horrendous at 11am! Yeesh. So when they got there, I went to Gareth's line first while my friend waited for Barrowman still. It was good we did that, so we killed two birds with one stone. Gareth couldn't have been nicer. He was a sweetheart and just darling. 

I apologized to Barrowman for breaking his back. But you see what he said above. He was adorable. His husband, Scott, took our credit card orders. I bought the autograph of course but I also bought his family cookbook which I'm excited to read through and one of his autobiographies I didn't have. He wasn't supposed to sign the books because you should pay for the sigs. But he saw them in my pile and he grabbed them from me to sign anyway! HA! He got a dirty look from Scott but John ignored him haha. It was a great experience. Big thanks to them.

Then I went to the Marvel Now! panel. Which if you saw all the teaser posters, it was a mixed panel with all the comic artist, writers or editors of the books in discussion to reveal the actual projects! More on that in another post. But it was definitely fun!

Marvel Now panel

After that I hung out with another friend for a little bit before the Spider-Man panel with Dan Slott. It was the last panel of the day for me and the show. It was a lot of fun to see Dan in the spotlight to discuss the things going on with Doc Oc-Spidey and some of the side stories that will bleed into it from the other comics like Venom. More on this panel to be discussed in another post.

That pretty much ended my con for 2013! It was exhausting but fun. I'm not normally a panel girl but I decided to go to some of them this year. Glad I did. It was so much fun. I'm still reeling from the lack of sleep and lack of food from the weekend. I barely ate whilst at the con, with only breakfast in the morning and a small snack in the afternoon and then a nice dinner each night. Crazy but fun, awesome weekend. More posts to come on Marvel news and cosplayers I saw and everything!